Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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