What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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