I just made out with a guy for $7.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize