Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
