Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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