I just pynch a tree in the face
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
