just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We have so much sex to catch up on
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
