so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
