Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
