you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This is my gift to your gina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize