I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
