she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
