can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
