Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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