I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
