I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my being single is dangerous.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
