the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize