I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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