and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
