Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
