If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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