watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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