yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
