She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
