ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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