Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
