if i can run in heels then i can drive
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
