Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
