Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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