4 words: hood of his car
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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