508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
