So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
