what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
