we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
