Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
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I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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