I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
