ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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