i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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