ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
