Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
