R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
