The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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