we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
