Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
