i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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