I think I died a long time ago.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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