If that was your dad, he is hot
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
