marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
