Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize