Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
