If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
