Sponge bath it is.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
