whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
