shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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