your parents love me but you hate me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
