is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
