it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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