i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
