There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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