We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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