Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
