i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
