In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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