i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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