he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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