At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
