like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
