She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
