There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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